Sorting my self out

I have been feeling strange these day. The responsibility of two kids and a full time job is some times getting on to my nerves. This doesnt mean I dont like being mom. Being mom is the best thing that can happen to me but I feel I lost out in this mad rush of doing things the best way trying to fit in too many things and I do feel I am not doing right in managing things.

I bought a new mobile and for my husband who is notoriously loosing mobiles in the recent past. He said he will use the old mobile and insisted I use the new one. It did make me feel great that your husband wants you to feel the best and always wants you to have the best things in life.

The job which I feel isn't helping me much to grow as a person is pulling me down. I wanted to feel stable in here but I am not able to feel stable. So to feel easy I put down things I wanted to do in 2012 so as to feel my life has a purpose. By the end of the list I am already feeling better. Here is the list it isnt complete. I will keep adding to the list.

List of things I want to do in 2012

Decorate the wall of my hall which I have been postponing for the past two years
Start the scrap books for my children which I have never been able to start till now
Do something about my stagnating career
Post one picture a week in FB and be in touch with my friends better
Spend more time with my children
Lose atleast 3 more Kgs weight and become a healthy mom
Go on atleast 3-4 treks
Cycle to Mahabalipuram in 2012 which has been my dream since I moved to Chennai
Take Sam for as many tennis classes as possible.
Write more often on my blog
Click better pictures and understand My camera settings better
Learn Car driving and buy a car
Take my parents and parents in law on a holiday
Buy more Lens for my camera

Back to Chennai

Been a crazy week since the time we came back from hyderabad. Came to Chennai last Wednesday and from then on it was Mission clean the house. Husband claims he cleaned it 90%. God bless me and my domestic help. So took almost 5 days to clear the house.

On Sunday went shopping after one year as a family. Went and bought a dining table which has been pending for somany months now. On the way stopped in L.B. Nagar to participate in IAC Campaign. The feeling was enormous. Cant describe the feeling. Sam looked cute with her India Flag tattoo.

Finally this morning Sam has agreed to get clicked with Dhruv. She is always playing with him but she has not been letting me take decent pics of them together. This morning when she was in the best of her moods I had picked up the camera and clicked and she actually posed for me. Technically they may not be the best pics but clicking my babies together for the first time made my day. Love you Sam and Pandu for being who you are.

Some more pics

My Best Birthday so far

Dhruv and me the day we came home
Dhruv (Dont know what he is thinking)

Our Family before Dhruv joined us

This year I celebrated my Birthday on 28th Jun,2011. I was supposed to have come back home from Hospital after delivering Dhruv on 24th Jun. Could not come as Dhruv was under medication. I was feeling bad because I am hardly getting to eat anything and having to celebrate my B’day in a hospital.
I was hoping (and confident) that R will not let me feel down on that day. My lovely husband ensured that I had the best time during that night. The night before Dhruv was discharged from ICU and was allowed to sleep with me for the first time. If this was not enuf R was staying with me in hospital during nights right from day 1. We sent Sam home by 10 pm but somehow daddy felt bad about having to leave Sam at home. So at 10.15 pm he called home and told my mum and MIL not to let Sam sleep. He went and they both came back by 11 pm. I was so tired that I slept soon. But to my surprise they both woke me up at 12 with a cake and BIG bunch of flowers. Sam and R made me cut the cake and we had a great time for about 20 mins and retired to sleep. R and Sam slept immediately but I couldn’t sleep. Was thinking about how my life has changed from the time I got married to R and how we both were before marriage and how we used to fight in the initial stages of marriage. Lots of it has changed when Sam came home and everything has changed after I got pregnant. Now from now on life is a struggle everyday to reach office, to send kids to school, to cook food (although I am lucky to have help right now), Kids and their future ……… I felt very emotional and contended that night as all four of us are spending in one room for the first time in our life. I was sleeping on the patient bad, Dhruv in Cradle, Sam on attendants’ bed and Ravi on the floor. I thanked god for what we have as family and prayed for god to bless us in future too.